Today was awesome. Got a free smoothie since the Australian chain business Boost Juice give out free smoothies to a different name every day. Today my name was called! (The exact spelling too!! Brigit!)
AND I borrowed 7 books (on nutrition and eco construction) from my old university library. Super excited to read.
Other good news: employment is rolling in finally! And I’m getting wifi back! My two weeks of no wifi and no money have been humbling and peaceful :)
There are things I have kept to myself for years, energetic truths that were personal, that I feel are now appropriate to release. More people are energetically ready, I feel it. There is more space, and openness for these ideas.
Because I keep looking over my private posts from months, or years ago, that I feel are good to go! Let it into the world! Go go go! Fly fly!
Either that, or I’ve gained confidence. Hue hue, who knows? Who cares! :)
From 2013: “Chaos and fear in my mind”
Lightworkers would be incomplete without darkworkers. Has anyone considered that? I haven’t even heard the word “darkworkers” once.
What if darkworkers keep a secretive profile so that their efforts actually work without people realizing their role is actually helping us stabilize by pushing in the right direction. And if not done with direct secret motivation, All that hate directed at darkworkers.. government, the “elite”, secret societies, damaged souls, corrupt souls.
Are they? I don’t know. Is giving compassion to darkness going to move us towards balance, or is it going to feed dark energy. So what if it does? Who’s to say darkness is “bad”, and light is “good”. Both reflect one another. Why exactly are we choosing “light”. The whole duality shift into a balanced state seems odd to be seeking a lighter existence. It seems similar to promises of heaven, or something “better”, “somewhere else”. Why do we run? We think we’ll ascend? We think we’re better? What if that’s the problem? “shed light on darkness” What if we are to shine light on darkness, so we are aware of it; and to understand that darkness is our friend, we wouldn’t know a lightness if we didn’t have darkness. What if the “shift” is just a balancing. No promises of heaven or hell. Just simplicity.
Darkness is terrifying, i’m sensitive to it. I can’t even bring myself to list all the things that fall under this category in the terms I’m thinking of without actually mentioning any adjectives. Such as regarding earth welfare, animal welfare, government and elite darkness. Words carry energy and I won’t allow myself to put the energy here. I simply won’t even spend too much time in it. I also feel it manifests, I don’t want to put my energy into anything but bliss. Bliss flourishes into beautiful things, darkness allows a “redecoration” the same way natural disasters shake and stir environments. It’s a scary magic to invest in fear. I feel I’m currently in it.. I’m really confused. But there is tremendous fear in my heart regarding those things.
But I want to really learn why I avoid darkness so much. I know to trust my instinct, and I know I love being in a state of natural bliss. But maybe it’s not a good thing. When my chest is in physical pain from an emotional problem, I hurry to resolve the emotional issue. Now this hasn’t happened in a while. Last time it was because of romantic problems, this time it’s because I saw something that made me really scared. Honestly. It made me realize I need to change my energy so it doesn’t affect me, and work towards what I do want to energize. Maybe I’ll feel fantastic once I figure this out, another step towards understanding myself.
Conspiracy theories kind of terrify me. It is good that they are both ignored and feared. Because when ignored, people carry their bliss. When feared, people make drastic changes in their personal lives (Unless they sit in a fear coma, reading into more conspiracies until the fear devours them). I don’t want to be emotionally crippled, I want to figure it out. And I will, that’s what I do. I usually come out feeling great.
Colourful sunset before dark, but it’s dark before dawn. Cycle repeats. Is it ever stable?
What am I even thinking. Okay, chaos message vented! Perhaps more illumination later. Lol..illumination. Illuminati. Why the fuck are they such similar words hey? Ever think of that? Am I reading into it too much. Fuck it. lol
(Edit 2014: This is actually a really good post. I kept it in my drafts for so long because it was mostly a private vent. Truth needs to be vented ya know! :D )
n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
Those days you wake up with a dry, open mouth because you went to sleep on your back. Great dreams though!