I just want to be raw, real and selfless with people. Honest, emotional, vulnerable and ALIVE!
Pretending has made me suffer and made me selfish in trying to maintain an image. What for? To protect my relations. Out of fear? How absurd.
I am alone, but also not so. Because aloneness means self liberation from the tangles and illusions of separateness. I am not alone if I am happy wherever I go and whoever I meet. Happy for being in control and being accountable for my choices.
Alone means doing what you want. Being firm and clear in your intentions. And setting the stage for what you do and don’t want to appear in your life. Not out of spite for the bad, or dependence on the good - you are just free from both affecting you adversely.
Freedom of a balance within oneself.
Tahoe National Forest. My first proper solo drive in ‘murica with only a faint clue as to where I was going. It was simple, yet great!
California is beautiful. Finally rented a car for the weekend! Driving alongside pines is relaxing..mmmf
I twisted the love, realized it was selfish.
So I sought to learn to love every person for who they are, not what they can give me. To help and guide people however I can.
It does make me sad to feel that I’ve ‘lost’ love, something that is culturally embedded into us to find. And it’s not really love if it doesn’t set each person free, right?
So now I know exactly how to share love. What I lost, was simply the illusion.
Found this today. People finally get it.
" Don’t be afraid
Open your mouth and say
Say what your soul sings to you
Your mind can never change
Unless you ask it to
The thoughts that make you blue
The things that bring you down
Only do harm to you
And so make your choice joy
The joy belongs to you
And when you do
You’ll find the one you love is you
You’ll find you
Love you “
- Massive Attack, ‘What Your Soul Sings’
Photos from our second week wwoofing at the Cali horse ranch. My arms are five shades darker than any other part of me.
Happiest horse today