Posts tagged thoughts
Sometimes my need to keep people happy is in itself selfish because I am not in control. That despair I feel is not real. The deeper I wander into my feeling, I find the trust I need to know that everything and everyone is on their own personal journey, and that I am also pursuing my own path passionately. And that this is real. I am love, loving, and leading myself. My aim is to focus on my path while supporting people if they need. So.. Let it go, don’t resist and hold on to an idea or you carry the pain. All is unfolding as it should! :)
Today I learned more about the spectrum of human behaviour when assisting an autistic customer. The things we do or say that come automatically, are a little different with autism. It’s fascinating. I had a bit of a ponder. I noticed a few factors of behaviour that stood out that exist within all of us, but weren’t blanketed with social programming:
> Eye contact. Some people forcibly maintain eye contact, but it can also be a sign of trust. For autism it seems overwhelming to do so for more than a second, perhaps more with strangers.
> Body language. A person with autism will walk away if overwhelmed, or not face you if uncomfortable. I know there are tonnes of situations I would love to just walk away from, but my obligation and guilt stop me from doing so.
> Small talk is non-existent. Where there’s no reason to force conversation, practical and honest responses come out. I love that. I also learned that being overly chatty will probably be frightening.
> Susceptibility to suggestion. I shortly realized that all my questions/statements were being agreed to, and that I had to ask more direct questions to explore the customers preference.
> Emotion. Generally low level of emotional expression, low variation in speech. I wonder how much of human expression is generally acting or mirroring other people’s emotion. Ponder.
> Honesty. No sarcasm, no bitterness, no pride, no over-reaching politeness. Communication was simple and direct. There was maybe a little anxiety.
My head’s still pondering the nature of a world that is over stimulating for someone who is very sensitive, and the innocence and freedom of expression not bound by external pressures as strongly.
There’s a healing power in music, in music festivals and concerts. It is because for one continuous moment, a group of people are all on the same wavelength. People feel together. They feel the same music traveling through their senses. There is a merging of heart-consciousness.
Love is co-creation!!! Whether in idea exchange, team creative projects, or combining all our lives memories and energy into creating a new physical consciousness, a child. Our life and our love is movement, and we keep moving through creating. We are keepers of time, eternal creation. The wheels in our hearts keep the world spinning, the universe spinning, in a divine dance of love! Love is the eternal process of coming together. Love is the unifying force that binds all of existence, and propels in an outward expansion of learning and CREATING. Co-creating <3333
The darkness I commit
is a crime to my soul.
With tenderness, forgiveness, lovingness,
Comes a softer remedy.
Do not give into spite, pride or ego.
The remedy of kindness without reward,
Is difficult and comes with many obstacles.
But is a steady and persistent stream.
Untouchable by the ills of men’s hearts.
And is as soft to the touch and purifying as water.
Allow yourself the light of a weightless journey,
By casting the burden of your darkness into the river.
You will be free.
Remember the river, stick to the path.
It will take you where you need to go.
So step in, and travel lightly.
Let your heart float.
Never mind that the current may be strong,
Or that that water may be cold.
Don’t be afraid.
The river knows what you do not.
Because the river can change its daily course,
And still be on its way.
So step lightly, enter your stream.
Release your burdens and feel your kindness.
You are on your way.
I’ve been feeling so many profound feelings. It’s really difficult to strike them with words. I feel the way an aurora dances in the sky, filling the void with enchanting depth of colour. I feel the endless gravity of love, sinking my feet deeper into the Earth’s soft and pleasant dirt, and into my core. I feel my inner child’s sapling springing forth amidst a lush, protective forest that has been growing for the duration of years of my current life.
I am all these things. I am the space in between. I am the aurora that watches over. I am the patient and enduring water that carves out canyons. I am the fish striving for survial upstream. I am the wild bear, frightened of mankind. I am the stubborn and evergrowing evergreen. I am the hawk that has no place to be. I am free. I am here.
The flourishing of the human soul.
Growing up, I’ve learned I need to be as much of a lady, as a gentleman at the core. A balance that means disregarding both of these gender principles, and acting as a human soul. I am neither helpless, nor arrogant. I will not interrogate, intrude, or impose, nor will I lay back in desperate waiting for life to change. I am a polite traveler, and I enjoy learning and hearing the stories of everyone I come across regardless of my biological reaction to them as a soul in a female body. A lot of our behaviour is biological. Knowing this, I’m able to innocently befriend people as I remember doing as a child. Adulthood gives you these crazy hormones and drives that basically reveal your basic programming, you are a mammal here on Earth to reproduce. A strange competition to outrank your gender-affiliated allies in a test of fertility, and seek the greenest pastures. This is why we are sometimes hostile to our allies, or even overly nurturing towards our opposites, it comes from biology. It is a constant reminder. But it is your root desire, not to be rejected, but not to be a slave to, and from that you grow outward, like a plant with outstretched roots. Planted firmly in your origins and family virtues. Sprouting and letting the ebb and flow of seasonal emotional experiences create strength and humility through the multitude of body markings. The smile and frown lines, the grooves and freckles of your skin bark, which all bear an artwork of personal trials and triumphs. The outer casing protecting the inner child, that young green seedling, that has always been with you. You continually extend yourself, reaching for the sunlight and rain that trickles into your experiences of who you are. You are an eternal conscious being, beautifully unfurling. Part of a vast network of other life forms that work together as one. So while I’m here, I am here to be kind. To share, learn and love. And to play in this huge playground of imagination.
So I’ll be trialing 90 days of complete celibacy, as in complete non-sexual activity. My buddy Matt was really interested in trying it, and I thought, well, why not, I’ll try it too. I’m really curious to see what kind of effects this will have on my general energy and motivation. Apparently there is some connection to life energy/ prana. It’s all about channeling it. Sexual release depletes prana, and may just make you feel like a lifeless blob. There’s also a link between sex and dopamine receptors (the reward centre of the brain) which means we associate sex with happiness. And so it takes 90 days to reset the receptors so you’re not a product of biological programming.
[LINK] to TEDtalk about the great porn experiment.
Potential energy boostage! Today marks day 5, but its too early to report any interesting effects.
Side note- I have however decided that I’m not really interested in sex for the sake of sex anyway. From what I’ve found, the people you engage with sexually, your aura/energy starts to merge and I usually feel really odd if it even progresses to that stage. I didn’t feel liberated by it at all, it just feels kind of lifeless, like somethings missing. It’s not that it was bad, and it’s not that its a reflection of the person. I just think that it’s much more liberating for the soul as well as body, to merge with someone in a union of love. Love is a progression for both individuals, and everyone else you come in contact with. I’ve realized this, and it just feels right.
Deconstructing belief/ The truth in now
This is sort of what’s been bugging me the past little while. And has lead me to just think- “I don’t know anything at all, and don’t claim to. And I don’t want to argue. And I just want to live life. Simple.”
Everything I’ve believed in metaphysically and esoterically, which to me felt like some kind of secret knowledge. It felt awesome, because it felt exclusive, ahead of its time perhaps. However, the amount of information, misinformation, disinformation from all angles, from sources you can’t even establish as reputable- it’s hard to establish truth. I’ve come to think that perhaps even the metaphysical world is a distraction. Any information that comes to me, I take lightly and openly. I prefer to work on myself, use my imagination and creativity to make things come to life.
It may be that I’ve been fed so much mainstream info, and I’ve absorbed alternative info like it was candy, that I’ve been hammered with nonsense. I don’t want to believe what anyone says because it all conflicts and it intersects and history could be falsely manipulated, but so what? why should I have to know what’s right? To serve my ego? It’s in the past. And so what if there are interplanetary entities guiding us? What if they don’t exist? And who’s to say aircraft aren’t entirely military projects to dangle string in front of us making us think aliens exist for example. What if our consciousness creates experiences we can’t comprehend, such as projecting another being who speaks to us, making us think its real. We’ve seen how people after stroke can spontaneously speak another language. Consciousness is bizarre. And what if we believe in the experiences, how do we truly measure subjective belief? If we think something is real, how is the reality out there not something you perceive, and thus create? Also, I see nothing wrong with believing whatever makes your heart content. I love hearing people’s firsthand experiences and opinions. I honestly don’t think concrete evidence is reputable to prove the mystery that is life and consciousness perceiving itself. So my answer is, I don’t know. Reality is a shifting enigma. This is not to say it will stop me from learning, that wanting simplicity is a cop-out. No, not at all. On the contrary, learning is a fun hobby. I’m just not bent on being biased nor completely skeptical, why pick a side? I’m open to all of life’s expressions, which can be similar to reading fiction. It’s all beautiful. Have you ever felt worked up over something that you read from a fantasy novel for example because of its level of reasonableness? Probably not. So, I don’t see why reality should be treated any differently. Life is adventure.
What truth is there that’s more important than this immediate moment of creation? The truth is consciousness. Being conscious. You decide. You create.
To struggle, to persuade, to fight, to resist, seems like slow progress to the real potential of offering an alternative. That is what my aim is. I will create and offer a lifestyle, an idea, a place of sustainable, natural, healthy refuge. A self-sufficient, practical, traditional yet modern application of technology in a community that fosters growth of all life. A garden that will nourish, upon land that will flourish.
I am not a politician, I cannot fight with minds and countries. I cannot fight with protests, they will just fuel the fire and it will create duality and stronger opposition. If I want to create peace, it is as simple as that, I must simply be at peace. What I can do, with my average person power, is I can create a little space on Earth to flourish. As much as I want to fight the big guys and solve all the problems, I will not fight. I will bring things to life. New life.
Meditatively, the wandering thoughts find refuge beyond the chaos.
Within, a magic stirs the heart. Longingly stretching adoration. Turning my head to the area beside me, closing my eyes, I almost feel the magnitude of love manifest. I’m not alone.
Time is an elusive intelligence, and perception even more mysterious. Shifting my states right under my awareness. Feeling grows into immersion, unavoidable. Unexplainable. Words do little to quench the pouring energy that animates this world. Connecting deeper, translation drifts away. Lingering.
Dissolve. Embrace. Words and fears are distractions. Silence is so beautiful. So peaceful. Energy is so abundant in silence.
The oceans are poisoned from thoughtless man-made processes so we can stop eating the animals of the ocean. Leave them alone. Mercury is accumulating in fish is a sign. Radiation in the ocean is a sign. Stop. Just stop this madness.
The flesh of animals is causing diseases in the cells of humans because we are mistreating animals, removing loving respect for the process of taking a life, and this is memorized in the cells of animals as fear. We are eating the fear we instill in animals.
This isn’t punishment, its just a reflection of what we put out there. If we are careless, we cannot expect to be nourished. We must nourish the creatures and the plants and the earth, nurture them, respect them.
Luckily there are plants we can grow that absorb radiation, absorb carbon dioxide and nourish our bodies so we don’t need flesh at all. There is nothing wrong with consuming flesh, each to their own choice, so long as there is an understanding of what it means to take a life directly. Hunters knew this. They took what they needed. They don’t need a factory line.
But to plant these plants to undo what we’ve done, we first need to nourish our minds, our bodies, our homes, our planet. So that this careless consumption of resources doesn’t deplete itself. Change the mindset, accept responsibility, understand consequences and you can expect a flourishing, balanced earth. Luckily earth is badass and can take care of herself regardless of our existence. Lets be pleasant guests! :)
You are downloading my thoughts right now. This is a broadcast. And you are a broadcast of thoughts to others. Ever think of it that way?
The thoughts you have, the words you speak, they all form an image and a message and an intention. It propagates reality forward one thought splash at a time into the collective puddle.
So fungi dissolves plastic and recycles garbage, cannabis absorbs radiation and hemp can absorb 4x more CO2 than trees (and grow to full maturity quicker than trees). These lovely flora and biota need to have a giant party on this Earth.
The discussion of sexual energy or life energy has arisen recently with a few people. I think I’ve come to sense it’s a type of creational energy. The energy of compulsion, motion, generation, creativity. I think the understanding of this energy has been grossly limited to its biological function, which keeps us in a kind of lifeless void hamster wheel of constantly being slaves to the need to seek sexual partners for comfort, gratification and validation. Objectives defined by consumption, incompleteness and repopulation. Life is so much more than this, don’t you think?
There is a whole new world being synthesized in the beauty that is love. When love is energized, pure unconditional love in the heart space of your being, at the very core, everything you do becomes creation. Your actions become blossoms instead of thorns. Shifting from gratification to gratitude enables a whole new perspective, a whole new feeling. The world you seek is already within, bursting with energy. Love synthesizes with imagination, will and motivation - and drives you forward. The pulse of life is in your human consciousness.
And regarding sexual expression, there is a beautiful fusing of souls when gratitude and love enter the equation. There is a clear distinction between a biological urge for gratification, and a natural exchange of loving intimacy. When there is an outpouring of love from both souls, this merges them together beautifully.
So with everyone I see, they’re not objects for me to judge. No, I’m not interested in that. People are not limited to their bodies or their personalities. I just see love. I feel love.
Gratitude can be seen as a great cosmorgasm! Haha!